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  #111  
Old 10-05-2017, 11:57 AM
lalatan lalatan is online now
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Originally Posted by flops View Post
I tried a bit of squailing with the magpies, to save Mud (it's his eighth birthday today!), minor problems included gravity (sticks hit other stuff because of the whole gravity thing) and Mud likes to chase and catch sticks. I wouldn't squail Spike, he is waaay to entertaining, but it would seem that an occassional stick poke works a treat.
Happy birthday Mud! May you live to chase and catch many quailed sticks.
All the farmers where I used to live considered magpies an obnoxious pest. (I lean toward that opinion.) One guy built an ingenious wire cage that had a hole in the top that led to the bottom of the cage via a funnel-shaped wire piece. Wider at the top and quite narrow at the bottom. He then put some nasty, rotting meat inside the cage. The magpies came in droves and went in and down the funnel but couldn't figure out how to get back out. Then he wiped them out with a couple of shotgun blasts.
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  #112  
Old 10-05-2017, 12:47 PM
lalatan lalatan is online now
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It saddens me to have to give you this news: pots or any other kitchenware cannot speak, as we know the use of the word anyway.
Unless they're in a Disney animated film. Then anything goes!

Last edited by lalatan : 10-05-2017 at 12:52 PM.
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  #113  
Old 10-05-2017, 01:43 PM
Spike1007 Spike1007 is online now
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Originally Posted by lalatan View Post
It saddens me to have to give you this news: pots or any other kitchenware cannot speak, as we know the use of the word anyway.
Unless they're in a Disney animated film. Then anything goes!
I grew up watching pots, kettles & most other things talk, sing & dance. You mean that they can't really do that? I've been staring at my kitchenware for years, thinking that I've just bought the shy ones.
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  #114  
Old 10-05-2017, 02:36 PM
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BrisulPremium Member Brisul is offline
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I hit 978 on 5x5...a new record for me! It makes me wonder why any one would play for any other reason than to go for the highest average score per game. It feels so great to see how many points you can score in 3 minutes.
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  #115  
Old 10-05-2017, 03:02 PM
flops flops is offline
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Now, you might not be aware of the relationship that kitchenware, particularly pans, have with magpies.....it's not an especially positive one for the magpies, but effective for their swoop victims.

First you get a hand mirror, then you get a good sized pan. As you walk to school, you watch behind yourself with the mirror, and just as the magpie swoops near (hopefully not contecting with) your head, you raise the pan. So long as you are careful to not donk your own head with the pan, it surprises the swoop out of the magpie. Depending on the local council rules, you can leave the stunned, or more than stunned magpie on the ground, and let it have a think about the wisdom of swooping kids walking to school and decide never to do it again, or if it is more than stunned, the decision has been made for it.

I've attempted squailing for Mud because he can't hold a mirror or a pan. He has received with thanks both birthday wishes and a packet of beef flavoured schmackos.

The talking kitchenware thing has been abbreviated to "pot" (said with a lot of vehemence) in my home. Did they have red mushrooms with white spots growing near you when you were young, Spike, or are we talking Beauty and the Beast here? Be my guest to explain!
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  #116  
Old 10-05-2017, 04:14 PM
Spike1007 Spike1007 is online now
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I grew up watching pots, pans, etc. singing on cartoons, The "pot", spotted mushrooms, etc. came later. (I have to admit that they were just as entertaining, and I wouldn't swear that singing & dancing (and the occasional kitchen-related hallucinations) weren't involved.) Pot is legal here now, but I've yet to partake since that happened. Some things are just better left to the young, I guess. (Don't let your kids see this.)

Most of our birds are fairly benign, so we don't normally do the mirror & pan thing. That does add an extra degree of excitement to ordinary life though. Combined with spotted mushrooms, that could be very interesting.

Last edited by Spike1007 : 10-05-2017 at 04:56 PM.
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  #117  
Old 10-05-2017, 05:14 PM
crazykatePremium Member crazykate is offline
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Originally Posted by thinkbig View Post
lol, I like your description there. An alternate script could start out: Heahh we see the Australurine muthuh in her natural habitat. She is presently engaged in an activity which she finds pleasant. As she does so, she emits a powaful pheromone, which her young will detect. This will in turn draw them to her, interrupt her reveraay and thus reaffirm the muther-offspring bond between them. At this point she will often reguhrgitate some of her stored food for them.... Lol just kidding!
Lol, while reading this my inner narrator's voice (is that a thing? Or can you say "mind's voice", like the "mind's eye"?) dropped by two octaves and acquired Attenborough's customary rhythm.

Good narration can make everything seem more interesting. For example, on the Graham Norton show, David Attenborough was asked to narrate a video of a tortoise attempting to mount a croc (of the footwear variety). Have a look: [url]https://youtu.be/f7Z5k1_LgkE[/url]

There's also Morgan Freeman. Look up "True Facts about Morgan Freeman" ...or, to complete the circle back to the topic of parenting, here's Morgan Freeman reading a bedtime story. (Best wait until the younger kids are out of earshot though.) [url]https://youtu.be/1G17wQR3DL0[/url]
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  #118  
Old 10-05-2017, 09:14 PM
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pdiddpPremium Member pdiddp is offline
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Originally Posted by flops View Post
Oh...my...goodness! I haven't been able to grow a blueberry bush or blueberries for that matter (and blueberries are really expensive to buy at the store) and you guys grow them in the WILD?

In every movie I have ever seen, drama, comedy, documentary, the youngish bears, normally do not stray too far from the mummy bear.
Yup! We send out our bears to harvest them for us, they're really good at it and work for nothing more than their share of the berries. Unfortunately there's a high turnover rate for our berry pickers, they never seem to work more than one shift. In fact we never see them bring the berries back! Rumour has it that they smuggle them to other countries on the black-bear market.

I should clarify. It wasn't that young of a bear, probably a juvenile out to make his mark in the world. At a guess I'd put him at 5-6 feet long and about 300-350 pounds.
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  #119  
Old 10-06-2017, 04:46 AM
Spike1007 Spike1007 is online now
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Originally Posted by pdiddp View Post
Yup! We send out our bears to harvest them for us, they're really good at it and work for nothing more than their share of the berries. Unfortunately there's a high turnover rate for our berry pickers, they never seem to work more than one shift. In fact we never see them bring the berries back! Rumour has it that they smuggle them to other countries on the black-bear market.
It's hard to get good bears these days.
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  #120  
Old 10-06-2017, 05:13 AM
lalatan lalatan is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by flops View Post
Now, you might not be aware of the relationship that kitchenware, particularly pans, have with magpies.....it's not an especially positive one for the magpies, but effective for their swoop victims.

First you get a hand mirror, then you get a good sized pan. As you walk to school, you watch behind yourself with the mirror, and just as the magpie swoops near (hopefully not contecting with) your head, you raise the pan. So long as you are careful to not donk your own head with the pan, it surprises the swoop out of the magpie. Depending on the local council rules, you can leave the stunned, or more than stunned magpie on the ground, and let it have a think about the wisdom of swooping kids walking to school and decide never to do it again, or if it is more than stunned, the decision has been made for it.
Wow, I didn't realize there were so many young potheads in Aus!
That's a clever procedure. Reminds me of a similar one to train farm dogs not to chase cars/trucks. They inevitably bark at and/or try to chew the front tires of the monster that is carrying away their human pack member etc. The technique is to have a passenger, slowly accelerate the vehicle and then remain at a speed the dog can keep up with. When they become too tired/feel satisfied they've done their duty, they stop the chase. It is then that the passenger (or driver) opens their door as wide as possible so it will smack the dog and teach it that such behavior is fraught with danger. Admittedly the vehicle should ideally be an old beater of some kind that you don't care the door may get dented. Every farmer seems to have one though.
As I said before, my parents were highly skilled at selecting useless cattle dogs. There was one border collie who excelled them all: Bennie. His whole raison d'etre was to chase vehicles and farm machinery as much as doggedly possible. If we hooked up a cultivator, disc or other implement to the tractor, his excitement could hardly be contained. He would bark at it as we drove out the yard, down the road and then would follow it into the field and bark at it ALL DAY. I not only had to perform the mind numbing chore of driving in circles all day in dust and heat but also got to listen to his non-stop barking. Although it may seem uncharitable, many was the time I wished he were dead. One day he misjudged a turn made with the disc and had his hind legs run over with it. I thought possibly his machinery-aggressive mindset might change but, nope. Such was the profundity of his brain damage that as soon as he recovered, he was right back at it with a renewed vigor and ferocity.
One day my murderous desire was fulfilled. He picked the wrong foe to challenge: a fully loaded 18-wheeler milk truck. To get out of the driveway and onto the road they had to swing wide and then turn inward fairly hard. He had chased it before but that day the back wheels rolled right over him.
When I collected his flattened carcass for burial (of course the task was assigned to me) it was about 10 cm/4 inches thick. Quite an impressive compression rate I thought at the time.
Ohhhhhh Bennie, why, why, why??? If only you had used your skills and energy for good (cattle herding) instead of evil (vehicle, machinery chasing), then I could have mourned your passing.
PS I didn't hear of the open door training technique until after his demise. I'm almost certain it would have made no difference for him anyway.

Last edited by lalatan : 10-06-2017 at 06:35 AM.
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